I often hear people tell busy moms (and I’ve certainly been told this myself a time or two), “Make sure you take care of yourself!” I used to think two things: 1) Yeah right… like I have time for that, or 2) I am super busy sacrificing for my family and it would be selfish if I took time for myself. Both of these attitudes didn’t strike balance… which is what I am now seeking when it comes to this issue.
It’s not selfish to take care of yourself as a mom. Have you ever neglected yourself (spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc.) so much that you got to the point where you just snapped? You know, where you exploded and told your family that you’re leaving RIGHTNOW and going shopping and getting a hair cut and spending the night at a hotel and taking a bubble bath BYYOURSELF?! (Just me? Please… someone else relate!) I know that when I’ve reached those points of total exhaustion, it was as a result of pridefully thinking for weeks on end that I didn’t need rest, spiritual enrichment, time in prayer, or time with other adults.
How much better can I serve and love my family when I am well rested, spiritually filled-up, and when I realize other moms feel the same way sometimes? I read once that you can know if you’re being selfish about “me time” if, when it comes to an end because there is a need to change a diaper, make a meal, or clean up a mess, you become bitter and resentful. Why can’t they just take care of themselves? you may think. When “me time” (a privilege, not a right) is rightly focused, you will feel grateful and restored after it. Having been filled up, you can then joyfully pour out once again.
Here are some practical suggestions on ways to take care of yourself as a busy wife and mom! (Leave a comment with other suggestions you may have, as well as your thoughts on this!)
1. Prioritize time in the Word.
You’re busy – I know! Since I started getting up earlier, I’ve been able to have my quiet time in the mornings before the kids wake up. The time of day is not as important as consistency in the Word (and I do think that the same time every day helps with faithfulness in that area). Reading through books of the Bible verse by verse is a great way to feed your soul and demonstrate your reliance on Christ for each day. Begin the day with prayer and ask for God’s help to be the woman you need to be. This post may help you get started making time for quiet time!
2. Get as much sleep as you can.
It’s one thing if you’re up all hours of the night with a baby (that’s often unavoidable), but it’s another if you’re up late on Pinterest! Try and go to bed at a reasonable time so that you get enough rest for your body (you know how much that is for you). Consider also if there are times in the day you could rest, such as during a child’s naptime in the afternoon. It’s tempting to use that time for laundry or dinner prep, but sometimes a 20 minute nap does more to keep you together than you’d even believe!
3. Eat a nourishing breakfast.
I know as well as you do how hard it is to eat meals when you’re caring for everyone else, but it’s important to try to start the day out with a filling, healthy breakfast. Whether you’re an oatmeal fan or an eggs and bacon kind of gal, figure out ways to simplify the process so you can eat a great breakfast (i.e., make a quiche to eat all week or make healthy granola bars on the weekend). I like to change it up, but I usually eat oatmeal or eggs in some way or another.
4. Take your vitamins and supplements.
In addition to a daily multivitamin, I really like to take Evening Primrose Oil for feminine health and overall mood stability (thanks to the essential fatty acids present). If you’re feeling extremely fatigued, you may be deficient in iron, so have a little chat with your practitioner about starting an iron supplement. I’m not a doctor, so please always consult your physician before starting any new vitamins or supplements.
5. Use essential oils.
There are so many ways to use essential oils, and many of them help with uplifting your mood and calming your mind. I like lavender for calming, frankincense for mood stability, and peppermint for energizing. (I know these kind of sound like “mysticism” or something, but they really do help and are worth investing in. You may want to read my research post about why essential oils work.) Inhale from the bottle, dilute and apply to your wrists, or diffuse a favorite essential oil throughout the day.
6. Read good books.
I’ve said it over and over here on the blog: “Who you will be one year from now is most greatly influenced by the books you read and the people with whom you spend time.” Make the few minutes you have each day for reading count. Read books that enrich your soul, challenge you, and encourage you. For many great book ideas, see some of my past posts on books. Even reading a few pages a day is better than nothing!
7. Make time for adult conversation.
As women, we need relationships with other women to encourage us in our roles as wives and moms. It’s important to have friendships so we don’t think that we are alone in our struggles. Find women that you trust and that you can be real with without fear of judgement. I am blessed to have many good friends with whom I can share prayer requests, get coffee, go on playdates, and share ways God is stretching our family. I hope that you have at least two or three friends like that too!
For more encouragement in taking care of yourself as a busy mom (and motherhood in general), I recommend the book Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe by Sally Clarkson (veteran mom) and Sarah Mae (young mom in the trenches).
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