Tad and I have talked recently about the transitions we made in having children: from no kids to one, from one to two, and from two to three.

We realize we differ in our opinions as to which transitions were harder!

Zero to One
My Take:  Going from having no children to having one is definitely a big jump.  Suddenly you’re in charge of caring for every need of a helpless baby.  I remember how hard it was to get out of the door, and how (mostly) giving up spontaneity was challenging.  There is also so much of an opportunity to trust God in the face of temptation to worry about everything concerning your baby’s life.  Everything is new: diapers, feeding, milestones, sleeping, etc.  People are always giving (well-intended) advice, and it’s sometimes hard to feel confident in making decisions (since there are so many different ways to parent well).  I did eventually get in a groove, but shortly after that time, we had a new one in the mix!
Tad’s Take:  Zero to one changed everything.  It meant we had someone who was completely dependent on us for every need that she had.  On the way home from the hospital, I had the thought, “What are they thinking letting us take her home?”  We didn’t know what we were doing, but we were able to figure everything out.

One to Two
My Take:  This was really hard for me.  The first time I ever went a whole day without seeing Vera was the day after Cordelia was born and we were still in the hospital.  It completely broke my heart to be spending time with Cordelia instead of both of them together (even though Vera was being lovingly cared for by my mom).  That feeling of being “torn” didn’t go away for a while.  It was crazy challenging to try and meet the needs of two little people, both of whom did not understand waiting.  This transition may be easier for families where the age gap is greater, but for me, it was really hard.  I didn’t go anywhere with the two girls without Tad’s help for months.  I was really brave (I thought) last summer when I took both girls out to eat for Vera’s birthday (sit down restaurant, potty-training preschooler, food-flinging toddler, and full-term-pregnant mama).  Getting up the nerves to make that trip was really hard, but I’m so glad I did it.
Tad’s Take:  We brought a baby home from the hospital before, so we knew what we were doing (kind of).  There were two of us, and two of them, so we were evenly matched.  One of us could always take care of each of them.  It was difficult when both of them were left with me, because then I was outnumbered.  Also, sometimes they would both demand our attention, so it was sometimes difficult.  I believe this was the easiest transition because we already had experience with a baby, and we could do a man-on-man defense.

Two to Three
My Take:  Slipping a third baby into our family was easier for me than going from one to two.  I think there are several reasons: Vera is old enough to be somewhat helpful (plus she understands waiting), Cordelia is a more compliant child than Vera (though not perfect by any means!), and Tad has been home a lot because of his job situation.  I didn’t deal with baby blues at all this time (I did when Vera was born, though I didn’t realize it until later), so I’m sure that has helped.  When you’re down, it’s hard to see the big picture and enjoy the present.  Even though we’re outnumbered all the time, I do try to keep a sense of humor.  For example, we have a “rule” that we can’t have all three kids crying at once, so Tad and I do whatever it takes when we’re nearing that moment (2 out of 3 are wailing with a third one’s lip quivering) to not let all three cry at the same time (we pick one up, dance, are silly, etc.).  Because I don’t have enough hands, I think I’m more aware of my dependence on God in this season.  I’m learning to trust and let go more while praying lots for protection for my kids.  God loves them even more than I do, and that’s a lot!  This season with three is the “new normal,” and now that Jude is 7 months old, I’m starting to feel like things aren’t as crazy as they used to be.  (Just wait until he starts walking!)
Tad’s Take:  Going from two to three was difficult because we now have three children and only two of us.  The position of authority is almost an illusion when you have three children and only two adults. (If children ever realize this, we’ll all be in trouble.)  But what are you to do when your youngest child just spit up on himself and had a blow-out, your middle child is running around naked, and your oldest child is crying in the corner because she lost her coupon?  (I’m not making this up.)  You’re going to have to make some challenging ethical decisions about which child to save (spoiler, not the one crying over a coupon).  The transition to three was difficult, but I hear it gets easier at 4 (no, this isn’t an announcement).  

Ultimately, we know that God has sustained us at each point of transition and that he is using parenting to sanctify us!  Having kids is challenging, definitely, but it’s another beautiful opportunity to cling to the Lord in all things.

We’re dying to know… if you have one kiddo, how was the transition from 0 to 1?  If you have more than one, what were those transitions like for you?  Anyone out there with upwards of 4?  We’ve been told that’s the point where it gets easier.  🙂