I feel a little guilty each time I announce to the world that I’m pregnant. I know for some (including some of my very dear friends), getting pregnant has not been easy.
Certainly spending the last almost-3-1/2 years either pregnant or breastfeeding has not been easy.
Being sick in the first trimester with each pregnancy and still having to cook for my family has not been easy.
Two natural births with pretty much no paid meds wasn’t easy.
Having engorgement, clogged ducts, and mastitis while nursing wasn’t easy.
Parenting two under two and (starting in September-ish) parenting three kids three and under is definitely not an easy task.
But getting pregnant has been easy for us so far, and I tend to carry some feelings of guilt about it.
Why would God allow us to conceive so easily when others have been trying for months or years?
Why would God fill our arms with children while the arms of my friends ache for just one baby?
We adamantly believe that God is the author of life and that He is the One who opens and closes the womb. We trust this… really, we do.
But it’s just hard some days when I know that friends are trying to conceive, and I have yet another healthy baby growing inside me.
I’m sure I have blog readers I don’t even know are struggling in this way too. Just know that I hurt for you as well, and that you are deeply loved.
It is my prayer that you would come to trust, along with me, that God is the One who brings life into this world, and that His timing and sovereign plan are perfect.
“My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
Psalm 139:15-16
I think that no matter what side of the coin you are on, it’s hard! Pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting are all marathons that take a lot out of a woman. Struggling with infertility, I imagine, takes it’s toll emotionally. I’ve seen it destroy marriages too. There is no easy road!
With tears streaming down my face, I can say that I could’ve written this post. I know the guilt of announcing another pregnancy to friends who have been trying for years to just have one baby. It is so hard. I am thankful that we can trust the Lord and know that He works all things together for good!
Amen! God is working for good!
Congratulations! I guess I missed the announcement 🙂 In a totally non-creepy way, this is so crazy because I literally was thinking of you for some reason yesterday-something from your blog-and thinking that I wonder if you would be having any more babies soon! So strange!
I have been feeling this way some during this pregnancy. We struggled to conceive our first, and the second one was a total God thing and huge surprise. I’ve never doubted for a second that God’s hand was in it 100% and He completely meant her for our family, but I’ve sometimes felt guilty because I remember being on the other end of it. ANyway, congrats again! Excited for your growing family!
Congrats to you too, Natalie! I loved your most recent post (“You Know You’re 9 Months Pregnant When…”). I can totally relate! So your two babies will be about 17 months apart?
Yes, 17-18 months! My daughter is 17 months today actually and I’ll be 38 weeks on Saturday! Seeing your two little girls makes me excited to see mine interact 🙂 We are blessed mama’s for sure!
Congratulations, I meant to tell you on the other post but I was holding a baby! We are so happy for you!
Thanks, Stephanie!
I’ve felt the exact same way…I had a friend who had lost several babies, and
was about to go to a fertility specialist after we a bunch of us couples from church rented a beach house & went on vacation together. I found out I was pregnant shortly before we all left and needless to say I was so thrilled, as I had been ready for a baby for a while. Things were said & an attitude was evident while on vacation that made me feel guilty for being pregnant after the first try when she had tried for years without a living baby to show for it, and I felt horrible if I said anything to do with the baby, or about feeling sick etc. Then she found out when we got back that she was actually 3 weeks behind me, with no assistance! I understand the heartache she was probably experiencing and I couldn’t imagine going thru that. We bonded over being so close in our pregnancies and dealing with our newborns, & We are good friends now but that always put a damper on me enjoying my (relatively easy, although still filled with the new mom worries) pregnancy. She continued to have issues & a rough 30 hour labor resulting in a c-section(while I was blessed to have an easyish, 12 hours no meds natural labor. Again, I felt guilty)but carried her baby to term. But like you said…God is the author and His plan is perfect, no matter if we understand it or agree with it. Congrats again on your new little blessing!
Thanks for sharing a bit of your story, Lindsey!
I have enjoyed reading your blog for a quite sometime now and I just want to say thank you for this post! My husband and I have been trying for over 3 years to get pregnant. Your sensitivity in this post is very encouraging! May God bless you and your little family!
Thank you for your kind words!
Thank you so much for this post. As the mother of a single child, I truly appreciate your empathy for those of us who have not been blessed with multiple children. It is also refreshing to see someone appreciate that their ability to bear children is a gift from God and not something to be taken for granted.
Thanks for commenting! I do cherish this blessing from God.
Congratulations! We struggled to get pregnant with our first child. That time was the hardest time of my life, but I can honestly look back on it now and think what a blessing it was to have had that struggle. It is so much easier for me to understand what others are going through now. Last summer we had baby #4. Four kids, four and under is a challenge and most days I am just in survival mode, but I remember back to that time and am reminded of how blessed I’ve been since.
Thanks for commenting, Shanade! I think sometimes God allows us to go through trials so we can comfort others who experience the same hurts.