Five Years

Tad and I have been married for five years today!  We decided to share five things we’ve learned in five years of marriage.  (We wrote these separately and didn’t read the other person’s until we had written ours. Fun, right?)

Five Lessons We’ve Learned in Five Years

From Tad:

1) I have learned to think before I speak
I naturally have no filter. None. Do you want to know what I am thinking at this exact moment? Just listen to me speak. If I am not speaking I am probably not thinking. This gets me in lots of trouble, and over the course of the five years we’ve been married, I have learned to not say everything on my mind, and to also think through how I phrase things so that what I say is not offensive.

2) I have learned to ask forgiveness
When I have done something to hurt my wife (or anyone else for that matter) immediately asking for forgiveness is a good idea.

3) I have learned to be more patient
I want things my way, and I want it my way right now. There are three kinds of ways something can be done. The right way, the wrong way, and the Tad way (which most people believe is
the wrong way, but faster). I have learned that being patient with others is key when two people are living life together.

4) I have learned that marriage is hard work
Life is not a romantic comedy that ends with a happily ever after after the couple say their vows. Living with and loving a person unconditionally is not easy, not matter how awesome they are. It is constant learning experience, but the joy is that you do not have to do it on your own. I have an amazing partner in my wife, who is with me every step of the way. Each challenge we face is one we take on together.

5) I am learning how women think
Okay, this is not actually true. If I knew how women think, and I could explain it to other guys, and I would be as rich as Bill Gates. I do not understand women, but I do seek to know and care for my wife.

From Aliesha:

1) Prioritize personal growth
First and foremost, if I’m not growing in my relationship with the Lord, my marriage will be struggling too.  I have learned that being in God’s Word daily is vital to being a good wife (and mom)!

2) Communication is key
The times I have felt like our relationship has been rocky have been the times when we haven’t communicated very well or very often.  It’s easy to slip into bad communication habits, but in order to thrive in your marriage, you have to talk through things with one another!

3) Speak their love language
It’s great to do nice things for your spouse, but make sure you’re speaking their love language! I enjoy showing love to Tad through his primary love languages, and he does the same for me.

4) It’s harder than it looks
There are ups and downs in any marriage, and there is a lot of hard work involved.  It’s so wonderful as well!  Until you get married, though, you don’t know how hard it can be or how beautiful.

5) Marriage is sanctifying
Our marriage is one of the primary ways God is sanctifying me and changing my heart to be more like His!  Marriage exposes weaknesses, polishes off raw edges, strengthens skill sets, and knocks down pride.  Marriage makes you realize every single day how much you need the gospel.  I’m thankful for Christ’s sanctifying work in me through my marriage to Tad!

Happy fifth anniversary, Tad!  I love you and look forward to celebrating at least 60 more anniversaries with you!