Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman

During my three pregnancies (no, I’m not currently pregnant), I received lots of comments from friends, family members, and total strangers regarding my baby-to-be and my growing bump.  Most of the things people said were kind and almost entirely well-meaning, but there were of course some unappreciated comments as well.

Honestly, it’s probably because people don’t know what the right things to say are!  I’m compiling this helpful list of …

Things to Say to a Pregnant Woman (with a few things NOT to say, too!)

First Trimester
-“Congratulations!”
-“You look great! You’re glowing! Your hair looks awesome!” Basically, anything other than, “I can tell you’ve been throwing up all day and living in sweatpants.”
-“How are you feeling?” (Only if you want to know. The pregnancy symptoms kick in early, y’all!)
-First-time mom: “Aww! I can see a little tiny baby bump!” (Lies. But it makes her feel good.)
-Second/third/fourth/etc.-time mom: “What bump? You don’t even look pregnant!”  Just don’t talk about the bump this trimester.  And definitely never say to any mom, “You don’t look pregnant, just a little bloated!” Gee, thanks. #mommytummy
-“Can I bring you a meal?” Always a good thing to say.  If she’s too sick to eat it, her husband/kids will.
–Resist the urge to ask: “Were you trying? Was this planned?” Because it really doesn’t matter, does it?

Second Trimester
-“How are you feeling?”
-“Can I bring you a meal?”
-“Will you be finding out the gender or waiting until the birth?”
–Resist the urge to ask: “Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?” Yes. One of those two, definitely.

Third Trimester
-“How are you feeling?” (Only if you have an hour to listen. Third trimester is no joke.)
-“Can I bring you a meal?” Yes, now. And also when the baby comes.
-“You make pregnant look good!”
-First-time mom: “Are you having fun getting the nursery ready?”
-Second/third/fourth/etc.-time mom: “Can I watch your kid(s) for you so you can rest or get a few things done?
–Resist the urge to say: “Wow! You’re really big!” “Are you sure you’re gaining enough weight?” “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” “I didn’t think you could get any bigger, but here you are!” “Why are you still here?” ETC.

Like I said, most people are well-intentioned, but they just don’t know the right things to say and not say!

What things would you add to this list?