parenting in the pew Archives - Feathers in Our Nest

The Blessing of Children in the Worship Service

January 29, 2015 by Aliesha

As I’ve mentioned a few times before here on the blog, we have chosen to keep our (older) children with us in the worship service. We know the children’s ministry at our church is great (and we SO appreciate the nursery!!), but we’ve made this choice for our family. Vera joined us when she was three, and Cordelia asked to come in too when she was just over two.

There are, of course, hard Sundays and challenges of keeping them in the worship service, but ultimately the blessings FAR outweigh any minor inconveniences.

Our girls really do absorb so much during the worship service. We know this because they talk about it and play “church” throughout the week.

One day I overheard Vera playing church with Cordelia (this must have been six months ago):

“Hi! I’m Scot. I’m one of the others (elders) here. Pastor Ben is going to come up and preach the Word… (change in voice) Hi! I’m Ben. I’m one of the pastors. I’m gonna pray and then we’ll jump into what God has for us.” (I kid you not… Pastor Ben says that exact phrase!)

I was in the next room trying to hear without her knowing I was listening. She then proceeded to lead singing (lead vocals and piano) while CC played the drums. It was so amusing, but so beautiful at the same time to see her repeating things she had observed on Sundays!

Vera can now repeat certain elements of “liturgy” that are part of our worship services. We don’t go to a liturgical church, but the order of the service is the same each week and many of the phrases that are used to explain giving, singing, and communion are the same each week.

The girls understand (somewhat) what communion is and what it represents. They understand that the money given in the offering plates is for “Jesus” (we’ll probably start explaining soon how that is used in the local church and in sending other churches).

They are learning good, beautiful songs that we sing as a congregation. I feel like my heart is going to explode sometimes when Vera is singing next to me at the top of her lungs, or when I hear Cordelia at home singing a hymn she learned at church!

I think sometimes we underestimate how much children are absorbing when they sit in church with us. In addition to the things above, they also see our response to worship, our note-taking, our reverence for God’s Word, our interaction with other believers, and so much more.

I’m thankful for this blessing of worshiping God with my children beside me!

When Parenting in the Pew Feels Like Parenting in the Zoo

March 28, 2014 by Aliesha

When Vera was a baby, I read the book Parenting in the Pew by Robbie Castleman. You may recall how Vera started staying in the worship service with us when she turned three (read that post here for a refresher). Jude has been in the service as well, since he usually has to nurse during that time.

My original post about Vera’s first time in the worship service may lead you to believe that having her in the service has been really easy. While it has been easier than we anticipated, it’s still challenging (and kind of zoo-y) each Sunday in various ways!

Most Sundays necessitate a trip out to the hallway for a “talking-to” from Tad, and there are many moments when I am distracted from the sermon because I’m trying to keep Vera from crawling under the chairs, unpacking my purse, making faces at the people sitting behind us, or asking questions loudly. Oh yeah, and I’m juggling an infant too!

There was one Sunday where Jude cried and I was stuck in the middle of the row and couldn’t get out. There was a week where Vera decided that her legs didn’t work, so she laid on the ground for pretty much the whole service. A few weeks ago, we all sat out in the hallway watching the video monitor of the sermon since everyone was quite “restless.”

I’ll admit, there are some Sundays where Tad and I realize we missed a major chunk of the sermon due to a little curly-headed distraction, but we wouldn’t trade our ability to take perfect notes for having our sweet Vera worshiping alongside us. (And our church puts the sermon videos up online, which is perfect for playing catch-up later!)

Vera is learning so much by being in the worship service with us. Even though she is just three, and she seems like she isn’t listening for most of it, she actually is picking up on so many things we don’t even realize! She always perks up when she hears a Scripture passage she knows (such as “love your neighbor as yourself,” etc.), which tells us she is listening. She even picks up on big concepts like the Trinity (“Mommy, he said ‘the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!'”) that we have talked about at home in family devotions.

Vera is being exposed to Christian ordinances like communion and baptism at an early age. She also loves singing the worship songs each Sunday (and throughout the week as well).

We are so grateful that Vera is learning about Jesus at a young age, both at home and in church.

Here are a few practical things we do:

-Vera has a small snack that she eats during the sermon time (like mini pretzels or goldfish crackers).
-We pack a small Bible for Vera, some crayons, and a little notebook. She picks up a children’s bulletin that has a coloring sheet. This is pretty much all she has to entertain herself during the service, other than the aforementioned snack.
-When Tad has to take Vera out, she knows that it isn’t to run around or play. They either come right back into the service, or they sit in the hallway with Vera on her daddy’s lap.
-We expect Vera to stay between us in our row. Usually I’m on the end and Tad is on the other side of Vera. This helps keep her “contained.”
-We sit towards the back so we are less of a distraction.

We’re definitely all still growing in this … but we are thankful for the progress that is being made! It’s a blessing to see Vera’s tender heart being drawn to things of God.

P.S. Cordelia is still in the childcare, but she’ll move to the main worship service with us when she’s ready.

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First Time in the Service

September 6, 2013 by Aliesha

Last Sunday, Vera stayed in the worship service at church with us for the first time.

When I first read Parenting in the Pew, I thought that we would start trying to keep our children in the worship service around the age of three (even though the author suggests around five, I believe). As Vera approached three, I didn’t really hold out a lot of hope that my very active, kinesthetic-learner, busy girl would be capable of sitting during the whole service.

Vera told me the week before last that she wanted to stay with us during the service. I was surprised, but excited. I packed a few books (Bible-related), a small blank notebook, and two colored pencils for her to use during the sermon.

On Sunday when we arrived at church, she reiterated to me that she wanted to stay in the service with us. We dropped Cordelia off at nursery and gave Vera one last chance to change her mind.

During the singing at the beginning, Vera stood on the chair next to me and tried to sing along a little bit. During announcements, she had some questions for me, so I encouraged her to whisper in my ear instead of talking loudly.

When it was time for the sermon, I pulled out the activities I brought for Vera. Because I had my Bible open and was taking notes, she opened her little notebook and started “taking notes” too. She was a little wiggly, but she was quiet for the most part.

Vera made it through almost the whole sermon and then told me she needed to use the bathroom, so we left briefly and returned to the service. After that, she was less attentive, but we stayed in the rest of the time.

At the offering, Vera put her money in the basket as it went by, and seemed delighted to give her money to Jesus. During the closing three songs, Vera sang more, especially during the last song, which was “Praise God from Whom All Blessings Flow.” That was the only one she knew, and she smiled with recognition as it began. Melted my heart, fully and completely!

This week I’ve been playing some songs for her that she may hear at church, just to familiarize her with them so she is more prepared to sing along.

All-in-all, it was SUCH a tremendous blessing to worship together as a family on Sunday, and we are thankful for how God is already working in our daughter’s heart, softening her towards things of Him and calling her towards Himself!