– Pray regularly for him and for his ministry.
– Make your home a place of rest and refuge. Ask about his day when he comes home instead of immediately rushing to tell about yours. Respect him if he doesn’t want to talk about “church stuff” all the time at home.
– Allow your home to be used for hospitality ministry. Be willing to have families over and host events in your home!
– Leave for church on time (and by “on time,” I mean early). If you’re not good at this, keep working on it. It will really bless your husband.
– Prepare on Saturday night for Sunday mornings. Lay out your/your children’s clothes, pack diaper bags, find sippy cups/Bibles, and make sure your husband’s clothes are clean/ironed.
– Help him where he is weak. My husband is not an administrator, so I try to help him with administrative/detail-oriented tasks when I can.
– Read books on being a pastor’s wife, and books on spiritual growth in general. Continue learning and growing in things of the Lord.
– Do not gossip. Nothing will destroy a church faster than a pastor’s wife who gossips.
– Make your ministry to your husband (and children, if you have them) primary, and your ministry to your church secondary. No one else can be your husband’s wife or your children’s mother, but someone else can teach Sunday School, direct the choir, or lead the women’s ministry.
– Don’t commit him or yourself to activities/responsibilities without first talking with him. This is just common courtesy – it’s how you want to be treated, isn’t it?
– Give positive feedback on his sermons/lessons. He’s bound to get criticism from other people in the church; he needs to know that you believe in him.
– Spend quality time together on a regular basis. Be his best friend!
What would you add to this list?
I really appreciate this post, Aliesha. It’s something that has been on my heart and in my prayers lately and I just love this list! I am encouraged to see the ways that you are practically able to be your husband’s helpmate. Something I would add is to never make him feel bad or guilty about his commitments. There are weeks when my husband has meetings, counseling appointments, is teaching the Sunday message, and hosting a Life group-on top of his regular 40 hour job and those weeks can be exhausting and trying for both of us. I have really had to make a conscious effort to not whine or complain about him being gone, but instead be joyful when he returns! Who wants to come home to a grumpy spouse?! These men are doing important work for the Lord and even though I always want to spend more time with my sweetie than I get to (what can I say…I like him!! 😉 ), I’m so thankful to have a husband who is using his gift of leadership to serve the Body! Again, thanks for this post! It both encouraged and convicted me in wonderful ways 🙂
Excellent tips! I’m happy to hear I’m not the only pastor’s wife who has a husband who struggles with administrative stuff. 😉 We balance
Each other out that way. I’ll be sharing this one around! 🙂
Jen @ Being Confident of This
Thanks, Jen!
Something that I’ve really tried to be aware of is being selfless. Don’t get me wrong- I LOVE spending time with my husband, but I also know that he is obeying the Lord. We must not get in the way of that! We must encourage them, after all, we are most happy when walking in the Lord’s will and I surely don’t want to be the one to hinder that. They need our support, love and understanding!
Thank you so much for these great reminders!
Am encouraged by this. God bless you
Thank you, Rita!
What are some books your recommend N being a pastors wife? Thanks!